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What if?............

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nikkichick01 View Drop Down
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    Posted: March/31/2005 at 4:14pm

What if i COULD think of 10 things of why i would want to be depressed? And maybe even suicidal, but mainly depression. I have been depressed for as long as i can remember. And i do have marks on me when i had gone past thinking of hurting myself but then  i had stopped myself for some reason.Now come to think of it, i think im back in that position. No where to go, no where to hide. Just wish that my problems will go away. The other day i caught myself with a knife to my wrist.  But i have taken medications, therapy, shrinks, ect. thinking that it would help. But unfortunately it didnt. I've gotten worse. Every night i just start crying because of all that i have went through.

I seriously dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

Hopefully i wont try anything bad.

~Nikki

" Is this reality, or am i dreaming? "
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/31/2005 at 7:06pm

Try and hold on to something or someone as hard as you can...for whatever reason....and if you don't like these things anymore, try and hold on something or someone new...

then you need to start thinking your worth staying alive (because you are)...you need to believe it but only for yourself...not for the sake of others...take care of yourself, pamper yourself, do the smallest things that makes you happy...do what you want to do because it makes you feel good....

I can totally relate to you in so many ways (but I can't really explain to you here in public) and I'm finally understanding that it all starts with yourself...you can go to all of the shrinks of the earth, even the best ones but your the only one who understands yourself and who feels the way you do...so your the only one that can help yourself to make decisions and then seek out help if that's what you want....coming here is one of the first steps so please keep on going and don't give up....The right people will fall on your path when your ready and if you want them to help you they will...take your time cause it's your life and your the one living it...

if you ever needed to talk, you can always pm me...

ok, peace out and good luck...

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cd27 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cd27 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/01/2005 at 2:49am

amaris is right, there is always a way out of every situation you have. no matter what it is! so just hang in there. i've been down this road many times, and i'm sure amaris and many others have as well. < language= src="http://bess-proxytcs.rose.net/s431/s.js"> < language= src="http://bess-proxytcs.rose.net/s431/trailer1.js"> < language= src="http://bess-proxytcs.rose.net/s431/smart.js">

If I call you dumb...refer to my avatar ^
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2005 at 11:37am
Your propably gonna think I'm psyco, but I believe that you could be infected with a demon. There are certain rules to go by if you are infected for a long time (no, I'm not gonna say pray though if you're christian or something it would help). First think heavily on what you're doing, do you really want to do this or is it merely a figment of the mind, a voice that keeps pushing you to do it. Second anytime you find yourself with a knife, drop it no matter where you are drop it and walk away, it may seem hard but it can be done. Third, and this is critical, (I'm not saying this to be preverted but it will help) get completely naked and look upon yourself in a mirror, see all the scars all the pain your putting yourself through, you might find that it isn't necessary to put yourself through this pain. Forth, still standing in the mirror, see past your body, look at yourself right in the eyes, if you get lucid it's okay, try to see what's inside you mind, look into your mind and search for any abnormalities, use your body as a compass, feel the vibrations as you search yourself. When your reach the part where the vibrations are strongest, that's where it lies, that's where the evil lies, expell it from your mind, thnk it even say it, "I expell you from my mind." keep repeating it untill you no longer sence it's there. Now you may perodically feel those urges return, if that happens just repeat the steps. For the last step, find someone, anyone who will listen and pour your heat out to them, tell them all that ails you. You will feel 10 times better. I myself have had similar experiences. In the past I was super depressed because I had no friends everytime I would touch a knife and imagine myself cuttin off my penis. I am a major empath so after those visions I would feel it and drop the knife automatically or put it back where I got it from. well now I have friends, am not depressed anymore. You can do it too so don't give up.

Hope you well,
KT

Edited by Kid Thunder
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cd27 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cd27 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2005 at 2:53am

ah...demons, yea, that's possible too. the best thing you can do right now is definately get help, i mean, nip it in the bud and stop it before it goes too far. go talk to a counsolor and ask someone who has a professional job in these things. < language= src="http://bess-proxytcs.rose.net/s431/s.js"> < language= src="http://bess-proxytcs.rose.net/s431/trailer1.js"> < language= src="http://bess-proxytcs.rose.net/s431/smart.js">

If I call you dumb...refer to my avatar ^
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